Story of A BEAUTIFUL INTRODUCTION TO DEATH and a uniquely caring commUNITY…
It has taken me over a week to write this as I am still incredibly sad and
L
O
W
over the death of my sweet Sally Rose.
The day it happened was very traumatic at our house, especially for our little Elise (age 3). MANY friends came over and some even dedicated their entire weekend to our family, helping to get ready for Halloween festivities when none of us felt festive at all (but the show must go on). Elise spent her day actively trying to cheer everyone up around her by drawing, singing, hugging, and being very well behaved. At one point, she came outside and sang to me the MOST SOULFUL “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” ever uttered.
TEAM ELISE, which consisted of Catherine Davis, Denise Straus, Jen Lucas, and Jill Brammer immediately stepped in and took rotating shifts caring for Elise, playing with her, helping her make “cheer up” cards for her parents, delicately and honestly answering her questions, distracting her from our sadness, creating her costume, and feeding and soothing her, all the while checking on me and Tom and providing whatever we needed.
Later in the day, Tom and I took Sally to rest overnight in our dear vet, Lisa Cass’ garage. Even though she was out of town, Lisa spoke with me by phone, consoling me, discussing the possibilities of what happened, and reassured me that we could not have prevented this and Sally probably would have perished even if we had made it to the vet. It was just her time to go and we feel blessed that Sally died in her own home, surrounded by our love, and in her favorite sleeping spot.
With the help of our beloved friends, we made arrangements for Sally’s burial. Rob Koehler graciously allowed us to bring her to his land and chose a PERFECT SPOT on a ridge overlooking Jamestown and the Sawtooth Mountain range. Thankfully, Buddy Khim spent Sunday morning driving his backhoe all the way to the spot and digging a hole, which was MUCH appreciated since we intended to dig into the frozen, rocky ground with pick axes and might still be there!
At high noon, over TWENTY of Sally’s friends came to the burial site to say goodbye and support our family, including Rob Koehler, Anne Kosel, Buddy Khim, Jen & Serena Lucas, Rob Zimmerman, Jill Brammer, our dear Neecie, Matt Kohlhaas, Julie & Jordan, Jason & Gayle Towner, Squid, Julie Gussaroff, The Dow Family, Tara Schoedinger, and doggie friends, Dave, Tucker, and Philbert. The greatest gift to me was having Dave The Dog there romping and playing in the snow, providing us with new hope for the future in the wake of such extreme sadness.
After we got Sally ready, I carefully and honestly explained to Elise what was happening (as I had done all along) and asked if she wanted to say goodbye one last time. Surrounded only by the sound of the sniffling crowd, Elise laid down beside Sally’s soft head, thumb in mouth, and gently pet her “big sister” as she had done all of her 3 years of life. This lasted MANY MINUTES. Midstream, I asked if she was ready to let Sally go and she said “mmm-hmmm” but stayed there even longer. This experience was PROFOUND for all as this child learned from ALL of us about a very hard life concept while being embraced in the love and support of HER family of friends. Although it was hard for Elise, which was exhibited later in the week, I am so glad that she was part of this whole process as I remember from my childhood our family pets disappearing with no explanation other than “they’ve gone on to a better place.” I never understood…what place could be better for them without ME?!
Everyone then participated in covering Sally and Buddy found a perfect (large) heart-shaped rock as a headstone. When this beautiful grave was finished, we toasted to Sally and talked about the good times. I was overcome with relief that Sally was in her final resting place and I was very comforted that we all gave Sally a perfect send-off.
A mere two days later, I was telling my good friend Louie Maurer that although Sally can NEVER be replaced, I’m not going to last long without a dog in my life (they balance my very existence, keep me sane!). As such, I have been borrowing the Towner Family dogs just to get me through this. Later that night, Louie came to my house and handed me $400 that he collected in a half hour from folks who knew, loved, and helped raise Sally so that we can someday buy another purebred golden. There is the power of “GIVE AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN UNTO YOU” that my wise Grandma Rose taught me.
Hence, I wanted to express MY DEEPEST GRATITUDE (beyond words) TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO SHARED THIS EXPERIENCE WITH ME AND MY FAMILY, including those who were there and those who reached out through writing, phone, e-mail, pictures, donations, dog-lending, or in person. I will NEVER forget how you all held me through this and I will be there for all of you whenever you need me.
This is the village that raises the child and the special commUNITY we have ALL created that exists no where else on earth. We are SO LUCKY AND THANKFUL to be part of it.
Thank you for reading this lengthy passage and for all your support through the years!
Peace and Love from The Williamseseses